Friday, January 06, 2006

A note to Sity...

I've posted some pictures to my fotopages http://marsila-fuad.fotopages.com and sity wrote comment like this to me...
"nearly broke into tears.. was imagining if this had happen to me.. if ifwat was around.. he would be a month or two older than indah.. might also being enrolled in the same kindergarden or school.. however.. everything happens for its own or with its own reason.. and it is always the best.. i am happy with ur new pregnancy can't wait to have a new member in the clan.. do take care of your self.. muah muah... miss ya so much"


Dear Sity,

Thanks sity, it is really painful to see all photos, hubby took a lot of photos but until now I cant really look at it... Ifwat will always remain in my memory, I believe God grant me the best...the best in everything... and thats the reason he test me like this...

Everytime I look at Indah or anyone same batch with Ifwat, i will cry silently in my heart, I cant cry loudly sity, cant show to people how sad am i, because so many people around me cares about me, I just dont want them to worry about me, I just dont want them to mourn like me... And I am happy for all my firends who get the chance to hold their first labor of love in their hand but in the same time I envy them... But i know, I am not alone, still have others who experienced the same...

Deep inside my heart, I thank to god for whatever he granted me... Ifwat really makes me stronger than before, carrying him in my womb is the best thing happened me, give birth to him is the most unforgettable experience... I believe Ifwat will wait for me and hubby at heaven... I am not regret at all for not terminating the pregnancy as what other advised me earlier... Because I know Ifwat love me too...

This second pregnancy is easier than earlier one... I hope everything will be okay and fine... God gave me the baby to replace Arwah Ifwat but in my heart no one will ever replace him, because he is very special... I know hubby is really looking forward to have the baby, as for me it is a mix feeling...

Thanks for your support and concern... Hope we will remain friends forever as I always need your support and courage...

Love, ila

2 comments:

agakkacak said...

Kita merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan.. bersabar la sayang ye, insyaAllah, semuanya ok. Kita sebagai makhluk Nya, kena lah selalu berdoa, ingat yang segala kejadianNya itu ada hikmahnya.. Syang jangan sedih2, ceria2 selalu, nanti baby pun jadi ceria, cergas, cerdas and sihat.. Kita berdua pun seronok. Kan kan kan??

Kita tau sayang kuat.. you can do it!!

Along said...

Ila...I think you and Poek are an amazing couple. I truly admire your courage and your always positive outlook on life. Bak kata orang, Berat Mata Memandang, Berat Lagi Bahu Yang Memikul. I'm sorry I could not be there more for you and Poek when arwah Ifwat passed away; I just couldn't find the right words to say. But I would like you both to know that I was praying for you and your baby. May your pregnancy this time end with much happiness and joy. Amin.